Recovering Children From The School System

Today I saw this message on a Facebook page I belong to.

I contacted the mum and asked her permission to share here because this is not an isolated incident. The little man spoken of is on the autism spectrum, and I'm hearing story after story of these wonderful children being broken by the “system”.

I'm also hearing many stories of neuro-typical (or what might be called “normal”) children losing their confidence and their zest for life; loving relationships with siblings/parents going cold; children withdrawing into themselves as the system and some of the people within/using the system affect them detrimentally.

Followers of my blog will know that I never intend to bash schools – I am not anti-teachers. There are many different types of school i.e., traditional, alternative, democratic etc, but schools cannot adjust everything to suit the child who is not coping. Many do try, and some of the staff care a lot about these children, but a home situation cannot be replicated at school. And a home situation is where these children most often thrive. 

 Our home, in all it's messy cozyness, and four of my boys xxx

I share this story here to encourage others, as this mum wishes to do. There are many parents who feel like they are watching from the side-line, powerless to do anything as their at-school-child hopelessly slides down a slimy, slippery slope into a dank and dangerous place.

Home education is an option. You are not powerless. And you're not alone. There are people to help you with the process.* 

“I just had to share this. I got a memory from Facebook this morning and it was a video of my eldest taking my youngest to the park to ride his bicycle. My youngest was around 5 or 6 years old and was riding his bike (with no training wheels) with such confidence.

Sadly, a year on from that he went to class 1 (Waldorf only starts formal teaching at around 7) and his world came crashing down around him. He went from a confident, happy, well adjusted child to a child who would no longer sleep in his room, wouldn't sleep with the light off anymore, refused to pick up a pencil for fear of ridicule and could no longer ride the bike he used to love riding. He became terrified of children his age and had a terrible mistrust of adults after that experience.

Up until this video I had forgotten about the fact that he had been riding a bike without trainers at the age of 5, because he had to relearn how to ride a bike with trainers all over again and only managed to ride without them when he was 8 going on 9.

We have been home schooling for 4 years this March and he is back to the amazing, confident little boy he was before school broke him. All it took was 2 months to break him, not even 1 whole term.

For those of you still contemplating whether homeschooling is the right choice for your little person, let me tell you that it is not only the right choice it is the best choice if what we went through is anything to go by. Our youngest is now an avid reader who not only draws but writes (Occupational Therapist said he wouldn't be able to write). Best decision we ever made. Thanks for reminding me of how far we have come Facebook :-) Have a beautiful day everyone”

*Some places you might find information or support to help you with your decision:

Facebook pages: 

AS Homeschooling NZ (ASD Home School Support)

Unschooling NZ networking

Home education in NZ

Websites:

Home Education Foundation

National Council Of Home Educators of New Zealand 

Correcting Someone

The above photo show a page from my Adventures In Natural Learning:  Seasonal Journal.

For those of you who are not familiar with the Journal - I have laid out lists of suggestions for topics that could be studied in each season.

These lists, revisited each year, in their season, is the jumping-off point a family can use to give a child a WIDE knowledge base, and run down many glorious rabbit-trails in their learning - perhaps skipping over/completely missing out the things they are not particularly interested in but stopping for  LONG TIME if they come across a topic that really sparks their interest.

All the major "curriculum" areas are covered using these lists over the years.

This post today relates to something on the list above:   "How to/when to correct an older person respectfully"

Ah!  A topic close to my heart as some of my children really struggle with this concept!  I'm not sure if many, many children in today's society also struggle, or whether they are just not being taught, but I hear SO MUCH disrespect to adults that it makes me sad.  

I believe the best way to teach respect is to model it, and it is horribly true that many children DO NOT have respect modelled to them by the adults in their lives.   

But another way to teach respect is role-play.  Some children LOVE this so much it is a game they often request.

Another way to teach respect is to (bravely, if you're not used to doing it) put yourself in a position where your child will know more than you.*


For instance on a game they're playing, or learning a new language with them (and they will most likely pick it up faster than you).

We've had a go at learning some German.  The children remember it better than I do, and if they are sharp with their correct of my bungled pronounciation I can specifically say to them "When you tell me off harshly it puts me off trying again.  Be gentle with me!"   

Woah!  Two-fold benefits here.  They learn to correct people gently, and I'm reminded that they need gentle correction in their lives too!

It is also important to let "serial correctors" know that sometimes an adult does not need to be corrected, and some adults will be angry to be corrected (by a child or even another adult)  even if it's rather important to let them know they said something wrong.

So much to learn to function well in society!   Some children learn it all easily by absorbing and computing, whilst others need a little help in learning.  

And it is wonderful if, as a connected, aware parent, you can see if your child needs help with these things.

 * It is a really good idea to practise doing things where your child knows more than you because a child who is raised in a natural home education environment will surely overtake your knowledge on various topics very soon!   Rather than condescendingly taking an interest and giving "fake praise" try and be really and honestly interested and connected with your children.  Most children can spot a fake and hypocrite from miles away   xxxxx

Cheap and Free!

You don't need to spend lots of money on children to have fun with them!

These photos show my 2 year old, but these sort of games have been fun for all my children at various ages.

Outside the op-shop they have "These things free" box.  The other day I found a stainless steel teapot, and a little pottery jug.

This fun lasted ages!   First we just used water, then I added some washing-up liquid for bubbly water.   Now the teapot is in the sandpit for different games.

 
The good old cardboard box game!    I made the door so small that only our toddler could crawl inside, but surprisingly his 9 year old brother managed to get in too.  They both thought it was hilarious!
 

Story Stones

We've been playing with our story stones for a while now.  I saw the idea on the internet, and bravely went ahead and made my own.

The reality of home-made, non-pinterest-worthy story stones looks a little like this (very cool retro suede fringed bag was an exciting op-shop find):

How we decided to play with them:

We all take turns.  Player one chooses five stones, carefully considers them for a moment and then launches into an oral story using the picture on each one.
Then we put the stones back into the bag.
Player two chooses five fresh stones and tells their own story.

A couple of the children here have a go, but usually they prefer it when Mummy tells a story!   

It can be a bit tricky getting a pen to work on your stones (I'm way too messy with paints) - a bit of trial and error, and it would have been better to maybe use some spray fixative as a lot of handling smudge the pictures off!  You can see evidence of that on the bottom right hand corner of the above photo (cave) or above the bucket stone (pond). 

Here are some most-excellently-Pinterest-worthy ideas for story stones:

 

Good news for 2017 - price reduction

I'm receiving fantastic feedback about the Adventures In Natural Learning: Handbook, and the Seasonal Journal.

2017 GOOD NEWS!


NEW PRICING!

Handbook - (was $40) NOW ONLY $30 each
Seasonal Journal $20 each

ADVENTURES IN NATURAL LEARNING PACK:

One copy of the Handbook
PLUS one copy of the Journal only $45

- extra copies of the Journal for only $15 each



Postage $6.50 flat rate within New Zealand


This is proving to be a resource that is changing people's lives, and I am very blessed to hear how families are enjoying using them, so my goal is to get them out there to the people who will love them!

Remember that these books are the spring-board for your own personally-designed family plan.  I've given HUNDREDS of ideas, lists and points to jump off with as you journey forth together.  I really wish I'd had these books years ago!

The Handbook is also being enjoyed by people who work with children - it makes life so much easier to have a neat and tidy resource with so many commonsense, fun and easy ideas to cycle through with the children in their care.
 

Overseas enquiries welcome.  I have PayPal.

You can either email me on

adventuresinnaturallearning@gmail.com
or
visit my facebook page:   Adventures In Natural Learning  and message me there.

The Little Boy by Helen E. Buckley

Someone reminded me of this poem, and thanks to the Internet I was able to find the whole thing.


I first heard it when I was about 13, sitting in assembly at college. One of the older boys was leaving school, and he had the opportunity to share some "wisdom" at assembly.  He shared this.  At the time I thought it was possibly quite true, but I'd been in the system since I was five, highly compliant and never a problem to anyone.  However, inside my timid, introverted little heart, the stirrings of discontent were starting.







Of course, over the years, the message of this story has come to mean a lot to me, even though I couldn't remember the actual poem.

But now, here it is.


 ********************************************************

 

Once a little boy went to school.
He was quite a little boy.
And it was quite a big school.
But when the little boy
Found that he could go to his room
By walking right in from the door outside,
He was happy.
And the school did not seem
Quite so big any more.

One morning,
When the little boy had been in school a while,
The teacher said:
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy.
He liked to make pictures.
He could make all kinds:
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats –
And he took out his box of crayons
And began to draw.
But the teacher said:
“Wait! It is not time to begin!”
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
“Now,” said the teacher,
“We are going to make flowers.”
“Good!” thought the little boy,
He liked to make flowers,
And he began to make beautiful ones
With his pink and orange and blue crayons.
But the teacher said,
“Wait! And I will show you how.”
And she drew a flower on the blackboard.
It was red, with a green stem.
“There,” said the teacher.
“Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s flower.
Then he looked at his own flower,
He liked his flower better than the teacher’s.
But he did not say this,
He just turned his paper over
And made a flower like the teacher’s.
It was red, with a green stem.
On another day,
When the little boy had opened
The door from the outside all by himself,
The teacher said,
“Today we are going to make something with clay.”
“Good!” thought the boy.
He liked clay.
He could make all kinds of things with clay:
Snakes and snowmen,
Elephants and mice,
Cars and trucks –
And he began to pull and pinch
His ball of clay.
But the teacher said,
“Wait! And I will show you how.”
And she showed everyone how to make
One deep dish.
“There,” said the teacher.
“Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish
Then he looked at his own.
He liked his dishes better than the teacher’s
But he did not say this,
He just rolled his clay into a big ball again,
And made a dish like the teacher’s.
It was a deep dish.
And pretty soon
The little boy learned to wait
And to watch,
And to make things just like the teacher.
And pretty soon
He didn’t make things of his own anymore.
Then it happened
That the little boy and his family
Moved to another house,
In another city,
And the little boy
Had to go to another school.
This school was even bigger
Than the other one,
And there was no door from the outside
Into his room.
He had to go up some big steps,
And walk down a long hall
To get to his room.
And the very first day
He was there, the teacher said,
“Today we are going to make a picture.”
“Good!” thought the little boy,
And he waited for the teacher
To tell him what to do
But the teacher didn’t say anything.
She just walked around the room.
When she came to the little boy,
She said, “Don’t you want to make a picture?”
“Yes,” said the little boy.
“What are we going to make?”
“I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher.
“How shall I make it?” asked the little boy.
“Why, any way you like,” said the teacher.
“And any color?” asked the little boy.
“Any color,” said the teacher,
“If everyone made the same picture,
And used the same colors,
How would I know who made what,
“And which was which?”
“I don’t know,” said the little boy.
And he began to draw a flower.
It was red, with a green stem.
~ Helen E. Buckley

SHAPE SORTING BOX

I have a dislike of the majority of purchased sorting boxes for children.   It seems that when a child is at the age of REALLY WANTING to post items through slots that they're too young to figure out which side a certain shape goes into, and it causes a lot of frustration.

So, six children down the track, I decided to do something about it.  I designed this sorting box, and my husband made it.

Then we went around the house and found safe bits and pieces to include in the box that were fun to post through the various holes.

It was very popular with our sixth child (and his older siblings).

He liked to slide the lid on and off, and post EVERYTHING through the biggest hole, or if he was feeling up to the challenge he would post the items through the most appropriate hole!

We regularly found new things for him to post through the holes so the game had new challenges.


Unfortunately I can only find the lid for this game now!  The box is hiding somewhere even though I've looked in every box-shaped gap, so our seventh child makes do with posting things into empty tissue boxes, and other cardboard boxes that I cut holes and slots into.  Almost just as fun!